The Only Couples Intimacy Quiz You'll Need
Find your relationship blindspots in just two minutes.
Take our simple Couples Intimacy Quiz, and in just two minutes, we will score your results in the four areas of emotional intimacy that couples struggle with the most. We'll email you personalized results and recommendations.
Plus receive additional insights from our unique relationship archetype algorithm for more insights into your people patterns.
Unblock Your Intimacy
Welcome!
Our new Intimacy Quiz For Couples is specifically designed to provide you with a comprehensive understanding of your relationship's intimacy and connection. We're excited that this quiz offers valuable insights and strategies to enhance your relationship.
The quiz, designed for your convenience, will only take a few minutes to complete. Once you receive the results, you'll gain valuable insights into the aspects of your relationship that could use some attention. The quiz will help you identify blind spots and the results will guide you in building trust, quality connection, and intimacy.
The results we can email you are like a personalized relationship roadmap, giving you a comprehensive overview of your unique relationship dynamics. The beautiful pdf results we email will empower you to foster a deeper connection with your partner.
What Is Emotional Intimacy?
Intimacy is a rich and complex aspect of human relationships encompassing emotional, physical, sexual, intellectual, and experiential connections.
Emotional intimacy has several parts that work together:
- vulnerability,
- ways to handle conflict and
- bravery to discuss complex issues.
We all want and need it, particularly in our love lives.
Whether in romantic partnerships, marriage, or close friendships, intimacy adds depth and meaning to our interactions, allowing us to form profound bonds with others.
Understanding and nurturing intimacy can create more fulfilling and satisfying relationships.
The Four Pillars of Our C.A.R.E. & Couples Intimacy Quiz
Our simple quiz assesses four foundational parts of intimacy. We're not just talking about sexual intimacy; we're talking about emotional risk-taking and open communication about desires and thoughts about the past, present, and future. These pillars describe how to foster a closer, more connected relationship, and our quiz will guide you through each one.
I tend to find that there's no physical intimacy or sexual intimacy without being able first to have the tools to talk intimately about your inner world.
C - Communication - more importantly, if you communicate directly and openly.
A- Affection and Emotional Intimacy - how and if you talk about these things already.
R - Resolution of Conflict and Disagreements - how you connect around disagreements.
E- Equilibriance- Structure and Balance - discover how balanced your relationship is.
Communication
Communication is sexy.
Most people will know that open and honest dialogue creates a safe space to be vulnerable, sharing your innermost thoughts without fear of judgment, which is the foundation of intimacy.
After you take the quiz on our website, we evaluate how open and direct you are with each other.
Affection
These questions aim to understand how you and your partner talk about feelings at the current moment. It's less about love and more about communicating love.
When taken in the context of the rest of the quiz results, we can describe ways to help improve intimacy even more, providing you with a clear roadmap to a more fulfilling relationship.
Resolution
When a couple lacks resolution skills and cannot seek helpful ways to resolve disagreements, anger, and resentment build and hurts don't get healed.
It's impossible to strengthen relationships or develop intimacy when these are in place. Learning to connect after a rupture or fight is a cornerstone of romance and intimate connections.
Equilibrium
Intimacy is strained in a marriage or connection when a couple tries to connect, and there's inequality.
We want to have power and make sure things feel equal at the same time. It's not about ensuring things get divided equally but discussing and working through imbalances.
Our Free Tarot Inspired Relationship Readings
We're a team of visual learners at My People Patterns, and we were looking for ways to explore and express relationship dynamics. We used the tarot cards as inspiration.
When certain questions get answered in specific ways, it alerts our quiz to potential relationship dynamics at play - a tarot card represents each of these dynamics to give you a free tarot-inspired relationship reading based on your answers.
In our intimacy quiz, certain answer combinations trigger 'wildcards' inspired by tarot cards.
Our wildcard tarot cards will give you a different way of seeing your relationship dynamics. They should highlight strengths and areas for growth and give you a more unique perspective on your relationship.
Let's explore these relationship archetypes and what they reveal about couples' intimacy:
The Empress:
The Ebb and Flow of Intimacy
The Empress symbolizes nurturing and growth and is presented when a personal relationship is rich in emotional and physical intimacy. However, this card also reminds us that intimacy requires consistent attention and effort, so it may indicate further work needs to be done to maintain that intimate bond in marriage or relationship.
Couples who are dealt 'The Empress' might experience periods of deep connection interspersed with times when one or both of you feel emotionally neglected. This could manifest as inconsistent displays of affection or support. These couples should maintain a steady flow of emotional availability and physical affection to thrive.
The Moon:
Illuminating Hidden Emotions
The Moon card signifies miscommunication or emotional confusion. Couples get this card when there is a pattern of unspoken emotions or unclear or indirect communication.
Couples aligned with this card might frequently misinterpret each other's intentions or struggle to articulate their genuine emotions.
The Tower:
Conflict as a Catalyst for Growth
When a couple is dealt The Tower card, it's best to take it seriously. It's a card that reflects questions in our intimacy quiz about conflict and upheaval with your partner.
But it also means that there's an opportunity to change things for the better. Partners who are dealt this card might experience intense arguments or sudden challenges that shake the foundation of their connection.
Conflict handled correctly can catalyze addressing long-standing issues and help you find solutions that work for each of you.
This card is means you might have to learn how to handle conflict more constructively, focus on problem-solving rather than blame, and view challenges as opportunities for mutual growth. No one teaches us these things in high-school, so it's ok if you need to learn these things.
Justice:
Striving for Fairness and Balance
Justice is about fairness and balance in life and the partnership.
Couples aligned with this card value equality but require help to achieve it.
For instance, they might strive for an equal say in decision-making but find that old habits or societal expectations sometimes interfere.
To embody Justice more fully, you and your partner should regularly assess and adjust the balance in their relationship, ensuring both partners feel heard, respected, and valued in all areas of their life together.
The Devil:
Breaking Free from Power Imbalances
The Devil card is dealt with when answers in the quiz suggest power struggles and possibly emotional manipulation. It could also indicate an idea of being trapped in negative patterns.
This doesn't necessarily indicate a toxic dynamic, but usually, it's more likely that an imbalance needs talking through.
Your answers in the intimacy quiz fpr couples, might show that you or your partner consistently makes significant decisions without consulting the other, or there might be an unfair distribution of household responsibilities.
The Hermit:
Navigating Emotional Distance
The Hermit represents a tendency for your or your partner to lean towards emotional withdrawal or isolation within a dynamic. This doesn't necessarily indicate constant disconnection but rather a retreat pattern during difficult times.
When this tarot card is drawn, it might be because quiz questions were answered if one partner consistently refused to engage in discussions.
The Lovers:
Communication's Double-Edged Sword
When a person gets dealt 'The Lovers', it usually means they have a strong foundation of communication and connection.
However, this doesn't mean perfection. Couples aligned with this card often know they have a deep knowledge of each other. Still, they may face challenges in fully expressing themselves.
For example, a couple might be great at discussing day-to-day matters but need help to broach more sensitive topics like parenting or dealing with the in-laws.
Excellent communication skills with your partner are learned over time and aren't taught in high school, so it's ok if you have to learn them.
The Chariot:
Steering Through Challenges Together
The Chariot is a card about forward movement and drive. It's also reflecting a need for the skills to navigate challenges as a team.
Couples resonating with this card likely show determination to overcome obstacles together but may still face difficulties maintaining a unified direction.
To fully utilize The Chariot's capabilities, partners ought to identify the unintentional ways they compete and undermine each other.
This may require frequent conversations with your partner that are focused on personal and collective goals and discovering methods to foster each other's individual development.
Understanding Emotional Intimacy.
True intimacy develops when we choose to be vulnerable with another person, and know our partner deeply. It's that rare space where we can share parts of ourselves we usually keep hidden - our honest thoughts, fears, hopes - knowing we're indeed being seen and understood. Getting there is only sometimes comfortable, and it takes absolute trust. But that deep emotional closeness and acceptance makes intimate relationships different from all our other connections.
Types of Intimacy
Emotional Intimacy:
This is about sharing your feelings, dreams, thoughts, and experiences with a partner. It's when you are not afraid of being vulnerable and open with another person about fantasies, desires, and feelings -and it is vital in a marriage or well being in a LTR.
Physical Intimacy:
This involves physical closeness and sex with a partner and can range from holding hands and hugging to sexual activities. It's about expressing affection through touch and physical affection.
Intellectual Intimacy:
Intellectual intimacy is a feeling of closeness with a partner that is based on mutual thoughts and ideas explored in meaningful conversations with someone. It's a bond based on a mental vibe. Being intimate at this level is often less challenging.
Experiential Intimacy:
There's an intimacy that comes from sharing fun experiences and activities with a partner and creating shared memories and bonds. It is essential in a marriage that feels stale or needs to be more active. You can try new things, start to explore shared ideas for activities, and just find fun ways to help build more depth and variety.
Sexual Intimacy & Your Sexual Relationship
The intimacy that is generated from your sexual bond and your sex life is a profound, fun and deeply personal aspect of many romantic relationships.
This form of intimacy with your partner doesn't just include what goes on in the bedroom or desire; it also includes talking about sex, physical connection, expressing desires, and talking about likes and dislikes.
Sharing fantasies and intimate desires with a partner is the ultimate in vulnerability, as it involves taking risks and your face being rejected or judged. And your sex life can improve when there's more communication and more vulnerability.
What Do Your Results Mean?
Here's a breakdown of your results - categorized into High, Medium and Low scores for each section.
High Scores In The Couples Quiz
Congratulations - your scores seemed to be high - here's what that means.
Communication
(High Quiz Score)
When communication quiz scores are high in the couples quiz, it demonstrates exceptional emotional openness and mutual understanding. Partners feel completely comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and dreams with each other. There's a strong foundation of active listening, where both individuals feel truly heard and their point of view is understood. Regular, meaningful conversations about important issues flow naturally, and neither partner shies away from difficult topics. This level of communication creates a secure environment where vulnerability is welcomed and emotional needs are freely expressed.
Affection
(High Quiz Score)
High quiz scores in intimacy reflect a couple with deep emotional connection where partners maintain a strong bond beyond physical closeness. These couples successfully balance togetherness with individual space, creating a healthy interdependence. They serve as emotional anchors for each other during difficult times, with both partners feeling consistently supported and understood. The relationship feels vibrant and connected, far from the roommate-like dynamic that some couples experience. Partners actively choose to have quality moments together while respecting each other's need for personal space, and they're reliably there for each other during tough times.
Resolution
(High Quiz Score)
Couples scoring high in conflict resolution demonstrate mature and well developed approache to disagreements. They maintain calm and respectful communication even during heated moments, avoiding harsh words or emotional escalation. These partners work through conflicts constructively, viewing disagreements as opportunities for growth rather than threats to the relationship. Neither partner withdraws during difficult conversations, and they consistently find mutually satisfactory resolutions. They're able to discuss differences openly without becoming defensive or avoiding the discussion.
Equilibrium
(High Quiz Score)
Couples with high equilibrium scores, power dynamics are notably balanced and healthy. Decision-making is truly collaborative, with both partners feeling equally valued and respected in the process. Responsibilities are shared fairly, and neither partner feels overburdened by carrying the emotional or practical weight of the relationship. There's a strong sense of teamwork, with both individuals actively contributing to maintaining balance in the relationship. Partners have realistic expectations of each other and work together effectively as a team.
Medium Scores In The Couples Quiz
Some of your scores were in the middle and could be better. Take a second to read more here to find out what that means.
Communication
(Medium Score)
A middle-range score in communication might suggest some inconsistency in how emotions and needs are expressed between partners. While there could be comfort in discussing certain topics, there might be hesitation or avoidance around more challenging conversations. This could indicate that while basic communication channels are open, there's room for improvement in creating a fully safe space for vulnerability. Partners might find that sometimes they feel heard and understood, while other times their messages don't seem to get through clearly.
Affection
(Medium Score)
A moderate intimacy score may indicate that emotional connection fluctuates between periods of closeness and distance. There might be times when partners feel deeply connected and supportive of each other, while other times they experience a sense of emotional distance. This could suggest that while the foundation for intimacy exists, there may be challenges in maintaining consistent emotional availability. Partners might sometimes feel like roommates rather than romantic partners, though this isn't a permanent state.
Resolution
(Medium Score)
Mid-range conflict resolution scores might suggest that while partners have some effective strategies for handling disagreements, there's inconsistency in how conflicts play out. Some discussions may remain calm and productive, while others might escalate to uncomfortable levels. This could indicate that while partners have the capacity for healthy conflict resolution, emotional triggers or stress might sometimes override these skills. There might be a tendency for one or both partners to occasionally withdraw or become defensive during challenging conversations.
Equilibrium
(Medium Score)
A middle score in power dynamics might indicate that while there's some collaboration in the relationship, the balance isn't consistently maintained. Decision-making may sometimes be shared effectively, while at other times one partner might feel they're carrying more of the burden. This could suggest that while partners strive for equality, there might be unclear expectations about responsibilities or uneven emotional labor. The relationship might benefit from more explicit discussions about roles and responsibilities to achieve a more consistent balance.
Low Quiz Scores.
This is a couple in the red zone! Find a minute to find out what low scores might mean about you and what you can do to do better your relationship.
Communication
(Low Quiz Score)
A low communication score might indicate significant barriers in emotional expression between partners. There could be a persistent discomfort or reluctance to share feelings, needs, and vulnerabilities. Partners might find themselves frequently misunderstanding each other's perspectives, and difficult conversations may be consistently avoided. This could suggest that one or both partners don't feel emotionally safe enough to express their true thoughts and feelings, possibly leading to a build-up of unspoken concerns.
Affection
(Low Quiz Score)
A low intimacy score might suggest that partners are experiencing a significant emotional disconnect. There could be a persistent feeling of living parallel lives rather than sharing a deep emotional bond. You or your partner might find themselves regularly unable to provide emotional support during challenging times, and quality time together might be rare or feel forced. Take time to first use the results to think about if this could indicate that the emotional foundation of the relationship has weakened. Could you or your partner possibly feel more like roommates than intimate partners? You can learn and use skills to change this today if you want to.
Resolution
(Low Quiz Score)
Low conflict resolution scores might point to patterns in how disagreements are handled.
Based on your answers, it's likely that arguments frequently escalate to include harsh words or emotional withdrawal.
You might also be able to discuss differences if you become defensive or hostile.
This may suggest that conflicts are seen as threats rather than growth opportunities, possibly leading to a cycle of unresolved issues and growing resentment. Partners might avoid confrontation altogether, which is a red flag for me as a couples therapist; coaching or counseling might be something to explore.
Equilibrium
(Low Quiz Score)
A low score in power dynamics might indicate significant imbalances in the relationship. Decision-making could be one-sided, or you may feel consistently overlooked or overruled.
There might be an unclear or unfair distribution of responsibilities, with one partner potentially carrying most of the emotional or practical burden.
This suggests that expectations are misaligned, and teamwork may be lacking, leading to resentment or powerlessness in one or both partners. You might want to and it might be best to consider seeking professional advice.
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