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NEW! Couples Intimacy Quiz
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The Only Couples Intimacy Quiz You’ll Ever Need

Welcome to our Intimacy Quiz For Couples, and our outrageous claim that it's the only quiz you'll need!

When you take our simple quiz, you'll discover what aspects of your relationship you need to work on in the future that will help build trust, quality connection and ultimately intimacy.

Intimacy is a rich and complex aspect of human relationships encompassing emotional, physical, sexual, intellectual, and experiential connections. It requires trust, vulnerability, communication, respect, and consistency to flourish.

Whether in romantic partnerships, marriage or close friendships, intimacy adds depth and meaning to our interactions, allowing us to form profound bonds with others. By understanding and nurturing intimacy, we can create more fulfilling and satisfying relationships in all areas of our lives.

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The Four Pillars of Our C.A.R.E. & Intimacy Quiz

The quiz assesses four foundational parts of intimacy and if you read on you'll understand that we're talking more than just sexual intimacy, we're talking about taking risks emotionally with your partner, to communicate desire, emotional, spiritual, sexual thoughts about the past, present and future in order to feel closer and connected.

I tend to find that there's no physical intimacy or sexual intimacy without the being able first having the tools to talk in an intimate way about your inner world.

C - Communication - more importantly if you communicate directly and openly.

A- Affection and Emotional Intimacy - how and if you talk about these things already.

R - Resolution of Conflict and Disagreements - how you connect around disagreements.

E- Equilibriance- Structure and Balance - discover how balanced your relationship is.

Communication

Communication is sexy.

Most people will know that open and honest dialogue creates a safe space for each of you to be vulnerable, sharing their innermost thoughts without fear of judgment, which is the foundation of intimacy.

After you take the quiz on our website, we evaluate how open and direct you are in with each other at the moment.

Affection

These questions are aimed at getting a sense of how you and your partner talk about feelings at the current moment in your life. When taken in the context of the rest of the quiz results, we can then describe ways to help improve intimacy even more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Resolution

When a couple lacks conflict resolution skills and is unable to seek helpful ways to resolve disagreements, anger and resentment builds and hurts don't get healed.

It's impossible to strengthen relationships or develop intimacy when these are in place. Learning to connect after a rupture or fight is a cornerstone of romance and intimate connections.

 

 

 

Equilibrium

Let's clarify first of all that this has nothing to do with your sexual relationship or sex life! Fantasies and desires around power imbalances or 'power play' (a form of role play) is all an aspect of physical connection or just sex that's healthy normal, as long as it's safe, sane and consensual.

Intimacy is strained in a marriage or connection when a couple tries to connect, and there's inequality in that connection. It's not about making sure things are divided equally, but ensuring that imbalances are talked about, and worked through.

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Our Free Tarot Inspired Relationship Readings

We're a team of visual learners at My People Patterns and we were looking for ways to explore and express relationship dynamics and used the Tarot Cards as inspiration.

When certain questions are answered in specific ways, it alerts our quiz to potential relationship dynamics at play - each of these dynamics is represented by a tarot card to give you a free tarot-inspired relationship reading based on your answers.

In our intimacy quiz, certain answer combinations trigger "wildcards" inspired by Tarot cards. These wildcards offer nuanced insights into relationship dynamics, highlighting both strengths and areas for growth.

These wildcards offer nuanced insights into relationship dynamics, highlighting both strengths and areas for growth. Let's explore these relationship archetypes and what they reveal about couples' intimacy:

The Empress:

The Ebb and Flow of Intimacy

The Empress symbolizes nurturing and growth, and is drawn when a personal relationship has rich in emotional and physical intimacy. However, this card also reminds us that intimacy requires consistent attention and effort so may indicate further work needs to be done to maintain that intimate bond in marriage or relationship.

Couples resonating with The Empress might experience periods of deep connection interspersed with times when one or both of you feel emotionally neglected. This could manifest as inconsistent displays of affection or support. To thrive, these couples should focus on maintaining a steady flow of emotional availability and physical affection, even during busy or stressful times.

The Moon:

Illuminating Hidden Emotions

 

The Moon signifies emotional confusion and miscommunication, often stemming from unspoken emotions or unclear expressions.

Couples aligned with this card might find themselves frequently misinterpreting each other's intentions or struggling to articulate their true emotions.

The Tower:

Conflict as a Catalyst for Growth

 

In our quiz, The Tower card signifies conflict and upheaval, it also represents an opportunity for significant growth and positive change. Couples aligned with this card might experience intense arguments or sudden challenges that shake the foundation of their relationship.

These moments of conflict can be catalysts for addressing long-standing issues and rebuilding on a stronger foundation. The key is learning to approach conflicts constructively, focusing on problem-solving rather than blame, and viewing challenges as opportunities for mutual growth.

Justice:

Striving for Fairness and Balance

Justice represents the ongoing pursuit of fairness and balance in a relationship. Couples aligned with this card value equality but may struggle to achieve it in practice consistently.

For instance, they might strive for an equal say in decision-making but find that old habits or societal expectations sometimes interfere. To embody Justice more fully, couples should regularly assess and adjust the balance in their relationship, ensuring both partners feel heard, respected, and valued in all areas of their life together.

The Devil:

Breaking Free from Power Imbalances

When The Devil card is drawn, it's because your answers might represent power struggles and emotions, indicating a sensation of being trapped in negative patterns. This doesn't necessarily indicate a toxic relationship but rather an imbalance that needs addressing.

Your answers might show us that one partner might consistently make major decisions without consulting the other, or there might be an unfair distribution of household responsibilities.

The Hermit:

Navigating Emotional Distance

 

The Hermit represents a tendency towards emotional withdrawal or isolation within a relationship. This doesn't necessarily indicate constant disconnection but rather a pattern of retreating during difficult times.

When this tarot card is drawn, it might be because quiz questions were answers if one partner consistently shuts down or physically isolates themselves instead of engaging in discussion.

The Lovers:

Communication's Double-Edged Sword

The Lovers represent a relationship with a strong foundation of communication and emotional connection. However, this doesn't mean perfection. Couples aligned with this card often have a deep knowing of each other, but may still face challenges in fully expressing their needs or occasionally feel misunderstood.

For example, a couple might be great at discussing day-to-day matters but struggle to broach more sensitive topics like financial concerns or long-term goals. The important part for these couples is to recognize that good communication is an ongoing process, requiring constant nurturing and the courage to address even uncomfortable subjects.

 

The Chariot:

Steering Through Challenges Together

The Chariot symbolizes forward movement and the ability to navigate challenges as a team. Couples resonating with this card likely show determination in overcoming obstacles together, but may still face difficulties in maintaining a unified direction.

To harness the full potential of The Chariot, partners should ensure they're both equally invested in the relationship's goals. This might involve regular discussions about individual and shared aspirations and finding ways to support each other's personal growth while moving forward as a couple.

Understanding Emotional Intimacy

Intimacy is a fundamental aspect of human connection, characterized by a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal connection with another person. At its core, intimacy is about feeling deeply connected, understood, and accepted by someone else. It's a multifaceted concept that encompasses various dimensions of human interaction and emotional bonding.

Types of Intimacy

In romantic relationships, intimacy often combines all these types and aspects, creating a deep, meaningful connection that goes beyond mere physical attraction. It involves sharing innermost thoughts and fears, being physically affectionate, and supporting each other emotionally. Intimate partners enjoy each other's company, share experiences, and work together to overcome challenges and solve problems. This comprehensive form of intimacy creates a strong foundation for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Emotional Intimacy:

This is about sharing your feelings, dreams thoughts, and experiences with someone. It's when youa are not afraid of being vulnerable and open with another person about fantasies, desires, and feelings -and is vital in a marrage or LTR.

Physical Intimacy:

This involves physical closeness, sex, and can range from holding hands and hugging to sexual activities. It's about expressing affection through touch and physical affection.

Intellectual Intimacy:

Intellectual intimacy is when you share ideas, thoughts, and explore your ideas in meaningful conversations with someone. It's about connecting on a mental level. Being intimate at this level is often less challenging when people aren't busy with kids and careers.

Experiential Intimacy:

This involves sharing experiences and activities together, creating shared memories and bonds, particularly important in a marriage that feels stale or is getting stagnant.

Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is a profound and deeply personal aspect of many romantic relationships. It involves engaging in consensual sexual activities and exploring physical pleasure and desire together. This form of intimacy goes beyond mere physical acts; it encompasses open communication about physical needs and boundaries, allowing partners to express their desires and respect each other's limits. Sharing fantasies and intimate desires can deepen the connection between partners, fostering a sense of trust and vulnerability. Through a strong sexual bond, couples can build a unique bond, learning to be open and authentic with each other in ways that may not manifest in other areas of life. This type of intimacy also involves cultivating sensual awareness and connection, role play, and encouraging partners to be fully present and attuned to each other's responses and sensations.

Key Aspects of Intimacy

It's important to remember that intimacy is a highly personal experience that can look different for everyone. Some people may find it easy to be intimate, while others might need more time to feel comfortable opening up, others have a personality that is more in the intellectual part of a connection The development of intimacy is often a gradual process that requires patience and a willingness to be vulnerable. As individuals grow and change, so too can their capacity for intimacy and the ways they express it.

  1. Trust: Intimacy requires trust. You need to feel safe and secure with the other person to be truly intimate.

  2. Vulnerability: Being intimate means being willing to show your true self to your partner, including your fears, hopes, and insecurities.

  3. Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial for building and maintaining emotional and intellectual intimacy

  4. Respect: Intimacy flourishes when there's mutual respect and consideration for each other's feelings and boundaries.

  5. Consistency: Intimacy is built over time through consistent positive interactions and experiences.

Find out more on the website - www.MyPeoplePatterns.com

What Do Your Results Mean?

Here's a breakdown of your results - categorized into High, Medium and Low scores for each section.

High Scores

Congratulations - your scores seemed to be high - here's what that means.

Communication

(High Score)

When communication scores are high, the relationship demonstrates exceptional emotional openness and mutual understanding. Partners feel completely comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and dreams with each other. There's a strong foundation of active listening, where both individuals feel truly heard and their point of view is understood. Regular, meaningful conversations about important issues flow naturally, and neither partner shies away from difficult topics. This level of communication creates a secure environment where vulnerability is welcomed and emotional needs are freely expressed.

Affection

(High Score)

High scores in intimacy reflect a deep emotional connection where partners maintain a strong bond beyond physical closeness. These couples successfully balance togetherness with individual space, creating a healthy interdependence. They serve as emotional anchors for each other during difficult times, with both partners feeling consistently supported and understood. The relationship feels vibrant and connected, far from the roommate-like dynamic that some couples experience. Partners actively choose to spend quality time together while respecting each other's need for personal space, and they're reliably there for each other during tough times.

Resolution   

(High Score)

Couples scoring high in conflict resolution demonstrate mature and effective approaches to disagreements. They maintain calm and respectful communication even during heated moments, avoiding harsh words or emotional escalation. These partners work through conflicts constructively, viewing disagreements as opportunities for growth rather than threats to the relationship. Neither partner withdraws during difficult conversations, and they consistently find mutually satisfactory resolutions. They're able to discuss differences openly without becoming defensive or avoiding the discussion.

Equilibrium

(High Score)

In relationships with high equilibrium scores, power dynamics are notably balanced and healthy. Decision-making is truly collaborative, with both partners feeling equally valued and respected in the process. Responsibilities are shared fairly, and neither partner feels overburdened by carrying the emotional or practical weight of the relationship. There's a strong sense of teamwork, with both individuals actively contributing to maintaining balance in the relationship. Partners have realistic expectations of each other and work together effectively as a team.

MEDIUM SCORES

Some of your scores were in the middle - read more here to find out what that means. 

Communication

(Medium Score)

A middle-range score in communication might suggest some inconsistency in how emotions and needs are expressed between partners. While there may be comfort in discussing certain topics, there might be hesitation or avoidance around more challenging conversations. This could indicate that while basic communication channels are open, there's room for improvement in creating a fully safe space for vulnerability. Partners may find that sometimes they feel heard and understood, while other times their messages don't seem to get through clearly.

Affection

 (Medium Score)

A moderate intimacy score may indicate that emotional connection fluctuates between periods of closeness and distance. There might be times when partners feel deeply connected and supportive of each other, while other times they experience a sense of emotional distance. This could suggest that while the foundation for intimacy exists, there may be challenges in maintaining consistent emotional availability. Partners might sometimes feel like roommates rather than romantic partners, though this isn't a permanent state.

Resolution

 (Medium Score)

Mid-range conflict resolution scores might suggest that while partners have some effective strategies for handling disagreements, there's inconsistency in how conflicts play out. Some discussions may remain calm and productive, while others might escalate to uncomfortable levels. This could indicate that while partners have the capacity for healthy conflict resolution, emotional triggers or stress might sometimes override these skills. There might be a tendency for one or both partners to occasionally withdraw or become defensive during challenging conversations.

Equilibrium

 (Medium Score)

A middle score in power dynamics might indicate that while there's some collaboration in the relationship, the balance isn't consistently maintained. Decision-making may sometimes be shared effectively, while at other times one partner might feel they're carrying more of the burden. This could suggest that while partners strive for equality, there might be unclear expectations about responsibilities or uneven emotional labor. The relationship might benefit from more explicit discussions about roles and responsibilities to achieve a more consistent balance.

LOW SCORES

You're in the red zone - find out what low scores might mean about you and your relationship. 

Communication

(Low Score)

A low communication score might indicate significant barriers in emotional expression between partners. There could be a persistent discomfort or reluctance to share feelings, needs, and vulnerabilities. Partners might find themselves frequently misunderstanding each other's perspectives, and difficult conversations may be consistently avoided. This could suggest that one or both partners don't feel emotionally safe enough to express their true thoughts and feelings, possibly leading to a build-up of unspoken concerns. 

Affection

(Low Score)

A low intimacy score might suggest that partners are experiencing a significant emotional disconnect. There could be a persistent feeling of living parallel lives rather than sharing a deep emotional bond. Partners might find themselves regularly unable to provide emotional support during challenging times, and quality time together might be rare or feel forced. This could indicate that the emotional foundation of the relationship has weakened, with partners possibly feeling more like roommates than intimate partners.

Resolution

(Low Score)

Low conflict resolution scores might point to concerning patterns in how disagreements are handled. Arguments could frequently escalate to include harsh words or emotional withdrawal, and partners might find themselves unable to discuss differences without becoming defensive or hostile. This may suggest that conflicts are seen as threats rather than opportunities for growth, possibly leading to a cycle of unresolved issues and growing resentment. Partners might be avoiding confrontation altogether, which could indicate underlying fear or resignation. 

Equilibrium

(Low Score)

A low score in power dynamics might indicate significant imbalances in the relationship's structure. Decision-making could be predominantly one-sided, with one partner possibly feeling consistently overlooked or overruled. There might be unclear or unfair distribution of responsibilities, with one partner potentially carrying most of the emotional or practical burden. This could suggest that expectations are misaligned, and teamwork may be lacking, possibly leading to feelings of resentment or powerlessness in one or both partners.