Best Books for Couples to Read Together for a Stronger Bond
Book Recommendations From A Couples Therapist
Finding time to deeply connect with the person we care about the most is so much harder than we expect. I've been a couples and family therapist in Los Angeles for nearly a decade, and if I had to pick one theme that I see the most in the couples I work with, it's 'emotional disconnect'.
We are constantly pulled in countless directions between work, kids, jobs, gym, and friends, and finding ways to reconnect with our partners can be challenging. But what if you could transform your relationship, spark deeper conversations, and grow together—all from the comfort of your couch or as one of your bedtime rituals?
Below you will find my top recommendations of books for couples to read together, but they're also the books I'd recommend to anyone who wants to improve their relationships. I'll also tell you about '7 Day Relationship Rescue Workbook', our free workbook for couples, it's 47 pages of relationship activities, exercises and thoughts from a marriage and family therapist.
Starting a book club together can be a great way for couples to strengthen their bond, improve communication, and gain new perspectives. Whether you’re newly in love or seasoned partners, reading together can be a powerful tool to enhance your bond. Here are 10 must-read books for couples to read together that promise to bring you closer and enrich your journey together. Dive in, and discover how the right book can become a shared experience that strengthens your relationship in ways you never imagined.
Our Free Couples Workbook
It's not technically a relationship book, but we've got a free workbook for couples you can download for free right now. It's 47 pages of insights, activities and exercises covering common issues couples face, from a couples therapist.
Our Top Book Recommendations
Find out what a couples therapist's top choices for books for couples to read are by clicking on the image below - we've got selections to help you find your preferred love language, help with intellectual growth, develop some erotic intelligence and other fun books to puruse.
About Me: Oliver Drakeford, LMFT CGP
If we've not met before, I'm Oliver, and I'm a licensed couples therapist in Los Angeles with nearly a decade of helping people grow great relationships. I'm lucky enough to have a busy private practice, but prior to this I was the Clinical Director of a residential treatment center. I designed a program to help parents and families connect on a deeper level.
The Benefits Of Reading Together: Grow Healthy Relationships, One Page At A Time.
Reading together offers numerous benefits for married couples or anyone in a relationship. I truly believe it helps strengthen your romantic relationship and deepen your connection. The books I've chosen below will also provide you with a greater understanding of relationships and some of the common issues couples face.
When you read the same book, it provides a shared experience and common ground for meaningful discussions.
Some of my other thoughts about the benefits of reading a book together are here:
Talking Vs Communicating
If you've been in a relationship for a while, you might get that there's 'talking' and there's 'communicating'. When you're discussing themes, characters, and plot points, there's a greater chance for curiosity and that makes it more likely that you'll be communicating, not just talking. Take time to delve into each other's perspectives and beliefs, with genuine curiosity, and it will go a good way to make a healthy foundation for your future.
Shared Experiences and Memories
I can't think of a greater way to know someone than by sharing your emotional reactions, thoughts and feelings about a shared topic or experience, and reading the same book provides the perfect combination for this. Choosing a book series with themes that resonate with both of you can be helpful in this, and there's plenty of non-fiction books that might be more suited for you over our therapy related choices below.
Emotional Communication
I'm a big fan of progressive emotional communication which is the pinnacle of intimacy. Sharing your thoughts and feelings about a shared book offers you the chance to work down through the surface layers, discussing the plot and characters to your personal reactions and feelings. Whether it's sharing laughter, tears, or inspiration, experiencing these emotions as a couple can deepen emotional connections.
Quality Time: Rituals and Routines
I'm a big fan of rituals and routines, which comes from my Gottman training in couples therapy. If you're unfamiliar, John Gottman emphasizes the importance of shared rituals in fostering intimacy and connection between couples. Reading a book together can serve as a powerful ritual that strengthens your bond, much like the meaningful practices Gottman advocates.
A Long Distance Romance Routine.
In long-distance relationships, maintaining a strong connection can be challenging, but reading books together might be a way to bridge that gap. By choosing a book to read simultaneously, you have a built in topic of conversation Discussing things during regular video calls or messaging not only enriches the relationship but also provides a consistent ritual that fosters emotional intimacy.
What Other People Say About Books
"Reading is a discount ticket to everywhere." – Mary Schmich
Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another's skin, another's voice, another's soul." – Joyce Carol Oates
"Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else's shoes for a while." – Malorie Blackman
Creating a reading schedule and routine that works for both partners
There's no right or wrong way to read a book together, but my goal, as a therapist, would be to do it in a way that first fosters connection, sparks meaningful conversations, and enjoys a shared experience without it becoming a burden to daily life responsibilities.
One approach for your couples book club is to take turns reading aloud to each other, either alternating pages or chapters. This allows both partners to engage with the story and enjoy the soothing sound of each other’s voices.
Another option is for each person to read the book independently and then set aside dedicated time to share back their thoughts, feelings, and insights about the characters, plot, and themes.
I know some couples who love to listen to audiobooks together, whether lounging at home, cooking dinner, or on a good long drive, and then share their reactions.
The key is to find a rhythm and style that works for two individuals, whether that’s cuddling up in bed with a physical book or e-reader, or listening to a great story while enjoying quality time together.
Fixing Relationships: A Free Couples Book
Before you read about our best ideas for book recommendation, consider our free workbook: The Seven Day Relationship Rescue Workbook. It's not exactly a 'book' but it is for couples. It addresses some of the more common types of relationship issues I see in my private practice, and some of these exercises are those I've used in my decade of experience helping people grow more satisfying relationships. It's not technically a 'book' for couples but there is something in this for everyone as it addresses some of the more common types of relationship issues I see in my private practice and some of these exercises are those I've used in my decade of experience helping people grow more satisfying relationship. Click on the image to read more.
The Ultimate Book For Vulnerability
In "Daring Greatly," Brené Brown an incredible author, reveals the power of vulnerability, showing that embracing our imperfections and facing uncertainty with courage is key to meaningful connections and wholehearted living. Through extensive research, Brown redefines vulnerability as a strength that fosters engagement, resilience, and authentic relationships. She provides insights into overcoming shame and developing resilience in love, parenting, and leadership. With personal stories and practical strategies, Brown is great at getting readers to let go of perfectionism, embrace vulnerability, and cultivate deeper emotional intimacy. "Daring Greatly" is a powerful guide for couples seeking open communication, trust, and mutual support.
Books For Couples To Read About Desire
"Mating In Captivity"In "Mating in Captivity," the guru / author Esther Perel explores how couples can keep their sexual desire alive in long-term relationships. She reveals that while domesticity and security foster stability, they can also diminish erotic excitement. Drawing from her experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and discussions to show how embracing novelty, separateness, and playfulness can reignite passion. She emphasizes the importance of physical connection in maintaining intimacy and rebuilding closeness. With wit and wisdom, Perel challenges conventional views on love and lust, offering a fresh perspective on keeping the spark alive in enduring relationships.
The Book For Couples Based On Research
"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver is a highly acclaimed guide for couples seeking to strengthen their bond. Based on science and extensive research and clinical experience, Gottman outlines seven key principles that foster deep friendship, mutual respect, and a positive attitude between partners. These principles include enhancing “love maps,” nurturing fondness and admiration, turning towards each other, accepting influence, solving solvable problems, overcoming gridlock, and creating shared meaning.Packed with practical exercises and real-life examples, this book offers couples a roadmap for cultivating emotional intelligence, effective communication, and a thriving, long-lasting relationship.
Unlocking Your Partner's Love Language
The 5 Love LanguagesIn "The 5 Love Languages," Gary Chapman provides is a well loved and simple framework for understanding and expressing love in relationships. He identifies five main love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. By learning your partner's love language, you can better meet their emotional needs and strengthen your bond. Chapman explains that people often give love as they wish to receive it, which is going to cause misunderstandings if partners have different love languages. The book offers practical tips and exercises for discovering and speaking your partner's love language. With over 20 million copies sold, "The 5 Love Languages" is a classic guide for improving intimacy, communication, and commitment.
Books To Master Mindful Communication
Next up, in "The Art of Communicating," Zen master author Thich Nhat Hanh shares simple yet powerful advice on how to communicate well and with compassion. Using Buddhist principles and his own experience, Hanh highlights the importance of deep listening and loving speech to build understanding and connection. He introduces six mantras you may want to incorporate, like "I am here for you" and "I know you suffer, that is why I am here for you," to help turn tough conversations into moments of care and empathy.
Hanh also explains how mindfulness can help manage anger, reduce stress, and promote a peaceful life. He encourages readers to see themselves as part of a bigger community and to let this awareness shape their interactions. Full of gentle wisdom and easy-to-follow practices, "The Art of Communicating" is perfect for couples wanting to bring more presence, understanding, and kindness into their relationship and build a strong foundation of support and love.
Emotion Focused Books For Couples To Read
"Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson offers a fresh take on building strong love relationships. Using attachment theory and emotionally focused therapy (EFT), Johnson introduces seven key conversations to help couples deepen their bond. These include recognizing negative patterns, finding vulnerable spots, revisiting tough moments, holding each other tight, forgiving, bonding through sex and touch, and keeping love alive. Through relatable stories, practical exercises, and easy-to-understand research, Johnson helps readers understand their own and their partner's emotional needs and communication styles. "Hold Me Tight" has helped over a million readers worldwide improve and heal their relationships.
The Seven Day Relationship Rescue Workbook.
I crafted this workbook and designed it to help you think about how you could change your relationship in just one week.
It's written by me, a licensed marriage and family therapist and authority on family systems theory. It provides couples with practical tools and exercises to deepen their connection and enhance their communication.
This comprehensive guide covers key areas essential for a healthy relationship, including:
- Active Listening Skills: Discover the power of active listening and learn techniques to truly understand your partner’s needs and emotions.
- Using ‘I’ Statements: Master the art of assertive communication to express your feelings and needs without provoking defensiveness.
- Managing Conflict: Equip yourself with strategies to handle disagreements constructively, minimizing conflict and fostering understanding.
- Emotional Intimacy: Engage in activities designed to deepen your emotional connection and vulnerability with your partner.
- Unmet Needs: Identify and discuss your emotional needs through structured activities, ensuring both partners feel valued and understood.
- Relationship Boundaries: Learn to set and respect boundaries, creating a balanced dynamic where both partners feel secure and respected.
Highlights include:
- Interactive Exercises: Engage in practical activities that reinforce each concept, making learning both effective and enjoyable.
- Real-life Scenarios: Relatable examples that illustrate common relationship challenges and how to navigate them.
- Expert Tips: Insights and advice from seasoned relationship therapists, ensuring you receive professional guidance throughout your journey.
- Reflection Questions: Thought-provoking questions that encourage self-awareness and mutual understanding, fostering growth and connection.
Whether you’re looking to reignite the spark in a long-term relationship or build a strong foundation in a new one, The Seven Day Relationship Rescue offers the tools and insights you need to create a thriving partnership. Invest in your love and embark on a transformative journey towards a more connected and fulfilling relationship.
Download The 7 Day Relationship Rescue Workbook.
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