What Does A Toxic Relationship Look Like?

Toxic relationships are hard to define specifically as there is no one standardized definition, it's more of a pop psychology term that has become mainstream rather than an official diagnosis. Generally speaking though it is an extremely unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship that probably includes behaviors by one or both members that are emotionally or physically hurtful.  If functioning positive relationships provide security and a nourishing and contribute to partners’ well-being, toxic relationships are the opposite. 

Toxic Relationship Characteristics

The underlying trait of all toxic relationships is that they are not emotionally or physically safe for one or both parties involved. As there is no agreed-upon definition of a toxic relationship, My People Patterns reviewed a range of articles and websites to find some common consensus. This of course is by no means a definite list, but it seems that most understood characteristics fall under one or more of these six categories. 

- Reactivity - Emotional volatility and disinhibition

- Insecurity - Clinging behaviors, paranoia and general negativity. 

- Distancing - emotional distancing, withholding and unhealthy communication patterns. 

- Avoidance -  conflict avoidance, lack of conflict resolution and discomfort with intimacy. 

- Self-Centeredness - lack of partnership, trust and respect. 

- One-Upping - disdain, contempt and belittling. 

The Toxic Relationship Worksheet

If you are curious about learning more about the traits and characteristics of toxic relationships, according to My People Patterns, there's a worksheet and check-list you can download from this website, the link is below. The video above will talk you though the check list and give you some example of what each of the characteristics are. 

Identifying a Toxic Relationship - Take The Toxic Traits Quiz

With the checklist, the video you should have a better understanding of how to identify a toxic relationship. Remember though that there is no single definition and a toxic relationship can be defined by anyone, particularly if you feel that it is unhealthy or abusive. 

If you are being physically hurt, please consider getting more resources from the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233. They offer secure ways of connecting with them that won't be traced back to you.