The Guide To Relationship Success: Couples Therapy Worksheets

The 7-Day Relationship Rescue Workbook PDF & Worksheet

Welcome To The 7-Day Relationship Rescue Workbook - the ultimate collection of tools from My People Patterns. Read more about our best couples therapy worksheets in this post.

• Are you tired of feeling disconnected from your partner?
• Do you wish you could instantly change the quality of your relationship?
• Concerned that your marriage or relationship may be struggling?
• Looking for ways to increase the love in your marriage?
• Download the PDF here
• Find more communication activities for couples here

Inside 'The 7 Day Relationship Rescue PDF,' you will find our expert therapy help in the form of exercises, activities, and marriage counseling worksheets designed by a therapist to improve relationships and is available to you to try the work for free.

I want to provide couples with access to therapy tools and communication exercises to anyone who may be looking for resources outside of my couple's counseling sessions. This worksheet contains some of the self help tools I give to my clients. My hope is that you, too, can take an important step towards working together for healthier relationships by downloading this free PDF.

The strategies and tools are designed to help you navigate any challenges that come your way. My hope is the worksheet and tools provide therapist help and promote a deeper understanding of each other, and in doing so, will strengthen your connection.

Who Is This PDF For, and Who Is It By?

Navigating a healthy relationship can be challenging, but as a couples and family therapist, I'm constantly reading the latest scientific research and psychological journals to find the most up-to-date information and research on how to help people create life-enriching relationships. The marriage counseling worksheets I create are ideally used in conjunction with a couples therapy session but are still likely to be a helpful resource for additional learning. 

Over the past decade, researchers may have identified so many key factors that enhance relationship satisfaction in marriages and long-term partnerships that it's hard to keep up with, but this is actually great news if you are going through some difficult times with your significant other as it means that there are tools and skills you can learn and incorporate into your marriage or relationship that could make a significant difference.

I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Los Angeles, and I have provided marriage counseling for nearly a decade. I practice using a combination of family systems theory, emotionally focused therapy and psychoanalytically informed therapy. You can 

What's In The 7-Day Relationship Rescue?

These exercises help couples with relationship problems by focusing on these core areas:

• Using Active Listening in Your Relationship
• Turning Conflict with 'I' Statements
• Build Emotional Intimacy Through Vulnerability
• Identifying and Addressing Unmet Needs
• Establishing and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
• Exploring the Benefits of Boundaries for Relationship Health

1. Mastering Active Listening in Your Relationship or Marriage

In any relationship, active listening plays a crucial role in promoting healthy communication. By truly listening to your partner, you instantly show that you value and respect their thoughts and feelings.

In the first tool, our Active Listening worksheet, you'll get that most of us listen to 'respond' rather than listen to 'learn' . There's a powerful distinction to learn in these two styles of listening. Listening to respond implies you are thinking about other things, and in doing so, you're not really listening to your partner.

In this section of the couples therapy worksheets, you'll find a tried and tested way to practice active listening. On top of that, you'll get a breakdown of the PEAR Framework of Active Listening, which I use in counseling sessions frequently.

• Paraphrasing: involves restating what your partner has said in your own words to show that you have understood their message

• Explanation: means asking for clarification or more details if needed, which shows that you are genuinely interested in their perspective

• Acknowledgment: asking for clarification or more details if needed, which shows that you are genuinely interested in their perspective and want to work at understanding. 
• Reflecting involves demonstrating your emotional engagement by mirroring what you heard to ensure you've got a complete understanding.

2. Transforming Connection with 'I' Statements

One of my favorite therapeutic activities is to teach people in marriage how to use 'I' statements, and the most effective method of my favorite therapeutic activities is to teach people how to use 'I' statements, and the most effective method I've found to do this is by getting people to turn 'you' statements into 'i' statements. This is covered in 'The 7 Day Relationship Rescue' Worksheet, and will absolutely support you mastering the art of the "I" statement!

Using "I" statements is not a silver bullet to effective communication. However, using them more often should support you in navigating most communication challenges, as they lower defensiveness and promote deeper understanding.

This exercise is one I often use when running multifamily groups in a residential treatment center. It was so effective that I often use it in sessions with couples in my private practice today. I'm confident it's one of the more fun ways you can learn how to use an I statement with your partner.

3. Couples Therapy Worksheets For Conflict

This section emphasizes that conflict management in relationships involves proactive conversations to prevent disagreements from escalating into confrontations. By discussing potential hot-button topics in advance, couples can better tolerate their differences and notice any patterns in disagreements.

In addition, this section provides you with counseling ideas such as

• Our Post-Conflict Reflection Question you can do together or separately.
• Rules For Fair Fighting
• Four Conversations Every Couple Should Have
• Repair Checklist

4. Improving Emotional Literacy With The Feelings Wheel

Improving emotional literacy with the Feelings Wheel, or the emotions chart in this section of the couples therapy worksheets, can have a transformative effect.

Improving emotional literacy is at the cornerstone of couples counseling. Learning to name what you feel is a vital part of the work that's done to foster connection and intimacy. That's why, in this section of the worksheet, you'll find a new and exciting emotions chart that we think you'll love.

5. Building Emotional Intimacy Through Vulnerability Questions.

Building emotional intimacy through vulnerability is a crucial aspect of any deep and meaningful relationship. To truly connect with someone, you must be able to feel safe enough to express your emotional state without fear of retaliation, humiliation or rejection.

Vulnerability involves opening up about your fears, dreams, insecurities, and experiences, which is a significant risk. As a result, we skirt around true vulnerability and as time goes on in a relationship, it's not uncommon to see partners drifting away.

The activity in this section allows the mutual exchange of honest and raw emotions and helps in forging a stronger and more resilient bond.

6. Identifying and Addressing Unmet Needs In Our Couples Worksheet.

Identifying and addressing unmet needs is a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Unmet needs can cause tension and resentment in relationships, as they often lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and disconnection between partners.

But do you even know what your needs are? Every individual has different emotional needs, such as

• stability or certainty,
• variety or change
• significance,
• love and connection
• development and growth,
• and contribution.

In this activity, we'll resolve any issues you may have in understanding emotional needs in your relationship or marriage. Next, you will rank your needs and share them with your partner. After that, you discuss how well your thoughts about your emotional needs. Sharing your answers will help you receive feedback on how you meet your partner's needs.

This is a next-level therapy activity that promotes understanding and supports mutual efforts to satisfy each other's emotional needs.

7. The Relationship Boundaries Worksheet

Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining individuality and intimacy in a relationship. The activity in this part of the worksheet involves reflecting on different types of boundaries: breakable (porous), balanced, and bulletproof (rigid).

There are questions and answers about each type of boundary to ensure you really understand them. Just like a therapy session, the activity will get you to reflect on your family or origin too.

• You and your partner will carve our valuable time to reflect on your answers in the worksheets and evaluate your current boundaries.
• The worksheets will help you understand how to achieve a balanced approach to boundaries that respects both your needs and theirs, which are vital in a marriage. 
• The questions help you understand boundaries and changes you might want to make to your boundaries. 

The Science and Studies Behind The 7-Day Relationship Rescue PDF

Active Listening. 

Active listening was found to be a significant predictor of relationship or marriage satisfaction and effective resolution in couples. Citation: Jones, K.L., & Davis, M.N. (2018). Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 17(2), 112-127

Emotional Literacy / The Feelings Chart Study:

Partners or people in a marriage with higher empathy scores reported greater relationship satisfaction a more understanding partner, even when controlling for other factors like communication skills. Citation: Smith, J.A., & Johnson, R. (2015). Empathy and Relationship Satisfaction. Journal of Social Psychology, 45(3), 233-245.

I 'Statements' 

Couples trained in using 'I' statements showed improved communication, reduced defensiveness, and better anger management compared to a control group of people in romantic relationships. Citation: Thompson, L., & Rodriguez, J. (2020). The Effectiveness of 'I' Statements in Couple Communication and Conflit Management. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 46(3), 421-435.

Unmet Emotional Needs in a Relationship or Marriage

Couples with unmet emotional needs reported lower relationship satisfaction and were at higher risk for breakups over a 5-year period. When you and your partner work together to discuss these issues in conjunction with your new communication skills in the PDF, you can take a good step forward to understand partner.

Citation: Nguyen, T., & Goldstein, S. (2017). The Impact of Unmet Emotional Needs on Relationship Satisfaction and Longevity. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 16(4), 298-315.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in a Marriage

Couples who reported having clear, balanced boundaries showed higher levels of relationship satisfaction and individual well-being.

Citation: Patel, R., & Singh, A. (2021). The Role of Healthy Boundaries in Relationship Satisfaction and Functioning. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 47(2), 389-403.

Managing Disagreements and Fights.

Couples trained in effective conflict management strategies reported improved quality in romantic relationships and reduced distress compared to pre-intervention levels. Citation: Kim, J., & Lee, H. (2016). Effective Conflict Management Strategies and Their Impact on Relationship Quality. Journal of Family Psychology, 30(6), 752-762.

Emotional Support and Understanding:

Couples who actively practice empathy and offer emotional support to one another were found to have higher relationship satisfaction. Their ability to understand and cater to each other's emotional needs is so important for healthy relationships - so I included this powerful exercise to improve emotional communication and emotional intelligence to help foster trust. (American Journal Of Family Therapy) Smith, J.A., & Johnson, R. (2015) 

More Resources and Interactive Therapy Tools For You To Consider:

Books on couples therapy

Download the fillable worksheet here

Couples Counseling Los Angeles

References from mental health journals

Jones, K.L., & Davis, M.N. (2018). The Role of Active Listening in Relationship Satisfaction and Conflict Resolution. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 17(2), 112-127.

Thompson, L., & Rodriguez, J. (2020). The Effectiveness of 'I' Statements Used in Couple Communication and Conflict Management. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 46(3), 421-435.

Chen, Y., & Peng, W. (2019). Emotional Intimacy and Relationship Satisfaction in Couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(7), 2045-2066.

Nguyen, T., & Goldstein, S. (2017). The Impact of Unmet Emotional Needs on Relationship Satisfaction and Longevity. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 16(4), 298-315.

Patel, R., & Singh, A. (2021). The Role of Healthy Boundaries in Relationship Satisfaction and Functioning. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 47(2), 389-403.

Smith, J.A., & Johnson, R. (2015). Empathy and Relationship Satisfaction. Journal of Social Psychology, 45(3), 233-245.

FAQ

Q: How can online resources help me understand my partner better?

Online resources provide valuable tools and skills that can help you understand your partner and self better. These resources often include questions designed to explore various aspects of your relationship, making you feel more connected and understood. Whether you're looking for ways to improve communication, address unmet needs, or simply make your partner feel loved, these worksheets and resources can be invaluable. If you're considering marriage counseling, these online tools can complement the work a therapist and your self do, offering additional support and insights into your relationship dynamics.

Q: How do worksheets and marriage counseling work together to improve our relationship?

These tools can be a powerful complement to marriage counseling, providing a structured way to explore and address relationship issues and to look at your self. During counseling sessions, your therapist may recommend specific concepts to help you and your partner reflect on your feelings, needs, and behaviors. These worksheets can include questions that make you feel more understood and help you identify areas that need improvement. By using these tools regularly, you can continue the work started in therapy to understand your self and fostering a deeper understanding and a stronger connection with your partner. Feel free to use these resources as guided by your therapist to ensure they are right for your unique situation and what's right for you self.

A professional disclaimer: if you and your love partner feel that there are serious issues in your relationship such as violence or abuse, you do need seek professional help to help work through issues and help learn how to communicate in a safe environment. A worksheet help 's with certain issues, other require professional guidance to work relationship issues through.